Dear Lady Who Called Me A Bitch While Waiting in Line at Shoppers:
Hi! How are you? I sincerely hope you are doing well or at least better than the day our paths crossed. I really wish we had the chance to have this important and meaningful conversation in person that night, however that never happened, mostly due to my utter shock and inability to really express how I felt in that moment. After having time to reflect on our interaction with one another, I thought “hey, I’ll write her a letter, through my blog!”. I truly hope this finds its way to you somehow and maybe one day our paths will cross again and we can reminisce about what a bitch I am!
You see lady, what you didn’t know is that moments before you so endearingly called me a bitch, I had just come from visiting my dying Grandmother in the hospital. I thought that may have been the last time I was ever going to see her and you know what, she did end up dying a few days later. It was indeed one of the last few visits with her. Luckily, my very last visit with her will not be tainted by the memory of our brief interaction.
Let me start off by recapping what happened that night: I was on my way home from the hospital and had to make a stop at my neighbourhood Shoppers Drug Mart (where I shop all the time) to grab a few items, including a lottery ticket because it was a big jackpot that night! I was accompanied by my sister and her fiancé, who were also just at the hospital with me and drove up from London earlier in the afternoon in the nastiest snowstorm to get here to visit our Grandmother, potentially one last time. We grabbed our items and we were patiently waiting in line. As we were waiting for the next available til to open, we watched you walk right past us, put your jug of water up on the counter while someone was still trying to cash out and then stand beside them.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you probably don’t shop here very often, or at all, because if you did, you would know that everyone lines up away from the till, in an open area, where we all respectfully wait to see which one of the 2, 3 or 4 tills will open up first.
I was definitely confused as to what was going on and looked at the cashier. She made eye contact with me and acknowledge the fact that we were waiting first. Nodding her head up and down as if to say I see you. When she was finished ringing the person she was serving through, she politely asked you to proceed to the line up over there and behind those people (us). You looked back at us in utter disbelief, as we are still patiently awaiting our turn, and then you turned back towards the employee to now express your disbelief because you were standing right there ready to be served next.
We now proceeded to walk towards the til and as we walked past each other, you were huffing and puffing as I said to you, “The lineup starts over there”.
That’s it, that’s all.
It was not in any hateful or rude way, just simply explaining to you that’s where the line up starts.
You then proceed to call me a “BITCH” and say how “that makes no sense to line up over there, you line up behind other people”.
Yes, you are right to some extent, that’s normally how it works, except this store is laid out a little differently and people wait in one single line up. Like stated before, I don’t think you shop here on a regular basis so I understand how this is confusing for people who are new to the store, hence why I tried to politely clarify and confirm what the employee was telling you.
As I walked on, all I could think and say was “WOW!“
I could not believe you just said that to me! I really did not understand how I deserved to be called that at all. The definition of being a “bitch” to me is someone who is being really mean, rude, plain out miserable for no reason.. ackhem.. you in this case. I have been known to be the definition of this word in the past and if our paths have crossed in my younger years, oh boy would you have seen that side of me come out!! I would have had a tough time refraining myself from calling you all sorts of names and exchanging pleasantries with you. But you see, I have done a lot of growing up! I have also gone through some really tough life experiences that have helped shaped the way I am today (thank God!) and I guess this is the beauty of growing older. I have done lots of personal growth and development over the years as well to get to the space I’m in today!
Let’s continue our story as it didn’t end there….
You decided to stand directly behind us because other people are now lining up and you clearly didn’t want to be at the back of line. I’m guessing you were in a rush. It was indeed a Friday night and you were dressed like you had a party or an important, fun place to be. I hope it turned out to be a fun night for you, while we were going home to sit by the phone and trying to distract ourselves from our current reality of losing a loved one.
And now I’m crying…
this is such an emotional post for me, as it incorporates one of the most loving and accepting ladies I’ve ever know. A true lady, filled with grace and compassion. Gosh I miss my Grandma… It has taken me 2 months to write this post because of my grief.
Back to our story…
As you stood behind us, my sister and brother-in-law started to interact with you, which I was very unhappy about and tried to get them to just ignore you. I was in such shock, just trying to get my things and be on our way, also just really not wanting to engage with you even though you continually referred to me as a bitch and at one point “a fucking bitch” very loudly, which I’m sure the entire store heard. This happened during a peak time at the store in front on many other consumers. I was completely embarrassed, more so for you than me though.
I truly felt sorry for you…
understanding that people who lash out like that usually have some level of pain or deeper rooted issue that it stems from. I also felt so bad for the staff, especially the cashier who had to take your entitled attitude. Your behaviour was uncalled for, completely inappropriate and totally unacceptable. You are lucky the staff even allowed you to continue to purchase your items. I used to work in retail and if you had acted in that manner in the store I was supervising, your choice of words would not have been tolerated and you, lady, would have been asked to leave empty-handed.
I’m not even sure why I am addressing you as a lady through this post though, because your actions certainly weren’t very lady-like. However, I am hopeful you will be able to improve on yourself in time, hopefully one day learning from your experiences and growing as a person to have a bit more kindness and compassion for others in your own heart. You see lady, you never know what another human being is going through. We all walk through this life experiencing pain, loss of a loved one, different turbulent or troubled times. If we all just took a moment to think, instead of just reacting, approaching those we meet with a smile instead of a scowl, meeting interactions with others with kindness and a deep understanding that we have no idea what they are going through in this moment…. imagine how much better the world would be!!!
Lady, I sincerely hope you are doing better and that this blog finds its way to you someday. I have no idea what may have happened to you earlier that day, week or month – just like you had NO IDEA what was going on in my life, especially that day. All I know is that I am sorry if this just happened to be the situation that put you over the edge that day. I’m also very sorry I never got a chance to ask you if you were ok that day and really understood where you were coming from. I really wish I was able to tell you what was going on in my life in that moment, maybe then you could have walked away having learned to approach situations a little differently. Even though our story may not have impacted you the way it could have, I know there is a bigger meaning and purpose from it all. I truly believe this message needed to be shared with others, in hopes that even just one other person may think before reacting like that to another person. Flying off the handle at someone, does not solve anything… in fact it says way more about you than the other person you are yelling at. Saying sorry when you are in the wrong, showing others kindness and compassion… now that has a ripple effect that can move mountains!
With Gratitude and Love,
~The Bitch Waiting In Line at Shoppers
Oh, one awesome update for you, I didn’t end up winning the jackpot that night but… I did however win $20! #winning
That negative night had a positive ending after all! *insert winkey face*